I thought this was pretty funny. Jacoby Ford is freaking fast.

Our president sends out recaps after each of our races. Here's the one from our last race:

USAT Collegiate National Championship- April 17, 2010

Why Lubbock? That is the question.

Triathlons always have the worst race conditions, especially ours, right? Well, this one was the worst. To put it in perspective, the race director who has done 250 races or something said this was one of worst he’s ever seen. That being said, the overall experience was totally awesome!

Given the high level of competition and heavy workloads at UT it’s hard missing a full day of classes. Well, not that hard. It’s actually kind of awesome. We left Friday morning before dawn (this isn’t race day yet) to reach packet pickup on time. It was cold, windy and raining in Lubbock.

After packet pickup was the captains meeting. Here the race director explained the challenges that we may encounter the next morning: the water is currently 60 degrees so the swim is wetsuit mandatory, there might be mandatory dismounts on the bike portion to wade across water, the run course is currently flooded so it is rerouted to another loop, and alligators. Then he took questions, which consisted of:

(Alabama) “What is being used to start the race?”

‘Excuse me?’

“Like a gun, or…”

‘Air horn.’

(LSU) “Are there strippers?”

‘Excuse me?’

“You know, volunteers to strip off wetsuits.”

‘No strippers.’

(Texas A&M) “When does the spirit contest start?”

‘Now.’

“GIGGEM AGGIES WHOOO”

(Cal) “Do we have to put all three helmet stickers on our helmet?”

‘Yes. For safety.’

(LSU) “Who wants to party tonight?”

Alabama did.

Then we made a trip to Wal-Mart to buy extra clothes and gloves and oreos.

Free pasta dinner was provided in the Texas Tech rec center (meh) and we got to eat with schools from our conference. The atmosphere had a bit of tension. A&M showed up with like 30 people including one of their male cheerleaders and ruined dinner for everyone. No joke, they started doing their football cheers and the whole deal. Someone from our team, all being smartasses, proposed that our goal be to never win the spirit award because it’s lame and to add that to the club constitution. “There’s the spirit award, and there’s the spirit award.”

Then we drove to check out the race course. Ridiculous. The hills were nasty, the run course was covered by rapids (no joke), wind howling, cold, dark, scary, death.

“What’s the worst that could happen tomorrow?”

“You could die” replied The Stache.

Randy Bass appeared like a hallucination of a jedi “Well, you got to die somehow.”

And so we were comforted for the time being.

The Red Roof Inn gave us a disgusting, obviously smoking room. We told the lady behind the counter in a red raiders shirt that we reserved a non-smoking room and they gave us a smoking room. She explained “It is a non-smoking room. People smoke in there all the time Honey.” Wonderful.

Race morning. The rain stopped but it was 48 degrees and like 30 mph winds. We took the bikes out of the trailer, pumped up tires, carried our bikes and gear through water to transition area and got set up. They informed us that the water was now 53 degrees and they are cutting the swim in half for safety concerns. We met up for a prerace briefing with Coach Allan, a native Canadian.

“How are you doing Allan?”

“Freezing my nuts off.”

It was a run-in beach start. All the silver caps lined up at the starting line, spectators cheering from above. It was really really cool and epic. Each wave the guy with the megaphone would say something ridiculous like “You aren’t a real triathlete until you pee in your wetsuit!” and sounded the horn to start the race.

The first guys finished the swim in like 6 minutes. What the? So short. Mollyfish contemplated swimming the course a couple more times for good measure. Marauder Saunders, an experienced swimmer, commented that it was the worst swimming conditions ever. At least it was short, and the warmest part of the race.

Transition offered no solace, however. With frozen hands it was nearly impossible to get wetsuits off, shoes on, and helmet buckled. The Stache broke his helmet in the process but managed to avoid destroying the entire bike rack this time. “The” Hunter, searching for an edge over the competition, rummaged through Chris’s backpack for his Epi-pen and stabbed it in his own jugular, eyes bulging and tongue sticking out and making an Arnold Schwarzenegger sound, and bolted out of transition.

The bike was misery. Right out of transition we had to climb a mean hill. Untouchable Hannah’s chain came off at the bottom of the first hill so she resorted to riding her Segway for the rest of the course. Dasher, notorious for taking out her opponents on the bike course while out of sight of the officials, pulled alongside a Baylor chick on a descent. Under her breath she warned “It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I’m all out of gum” (she’s a Duke Nukem fan) and she shouldered the Baylor chick off the side of the mountain.

And yes, there are serious hills out there. They are actually really epic and it’s unfortunate that we couldn’t appreciate the awesome course because we were too busy holding on to our aero bars for dear life in the relentless wind. Racers were blowing all over the road. And it was freakin’ cold.

The second transition was even harder than the first with hands frozen in the handle bar death grip, especially for those dealing with shoe laces. Backlund and Dan The Man and some engineers from other schools built vehicles like in the Twisted Metal video game and battled for the finish.

The run course was also very windy, long and hilly. It was two loops so everyone saw almost everyone else at some point. Now it was up close and personal. All the coaches were out there yelling to their teams and having fist fights just for the hell of it. Props to Allan for his encouraging words and reinforcement. He was surprised by the intensity of the Navy coach, who was mumbling to himself with veins in his forehead bulging, grinding his teeth, veins in his neck, veins in his teeth.

Finishers sprinted to the finish to be wrapped in mylar blankets for warmth. Then to the line for food and finishers’ prizes- USA Triathlon laundry bags. Sweeeet. They made everyone wait for the sprint race to end before they opened transition, so our team huddled for warmth for a couple of hours with the Penn state team who we learned was also staying at the Red Roof Inn.

The awards ceremony was later at the host hotel, complete with live band. The spirit award went to Colorado state after a cheer off against Texas A&M. Colorado won that in a landslide, most people booed for A&M. They were a little embarrassing. We had to explain who’s horns they were sawing off to the Virginia Tech guys next to us. “Apparently Gigg’em mean ‘to stab them’” – The Stache. The armed forces and Colorado and California schools took all the awards. The Cal guy had ostrich legs for goodness’ sakes. We totally deserved an award.

Later we hit the soup (the hot tub at the Red Roof looked like soup) with the Penn state guys. Drove all the way home the next day.

Mission accomplished. For our first year as a team and first time at nationals, we made an excellent showing. I’m really proud of everyone who competed. The best part is how stoked everyone is to start training for next year. Alabama should be paradise in comparison. Great work!

chris"

I hate blogging.

East China Sea Gaze

2010 USAT Collegiate Nationals

Race recap coming soon... 42 degrees and raining with 20 mph winds... yay hypothermia!

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